Friday, 7 August 2009


So yesterday I left Poland after being attacked by a man's crutch. (A crutch to help a limp!!)

Got to L'Viv after being chased by two dogs who i had to run over to prevent attack, scary, almost speared by a chug chug car with a javelin sticking out the window (I imagine the person who owned it was massive so would have to squeeze into the car hence why it was hanging out the window), nearly knocked off my bike by several massive trucks, bone shaken by the roads which have been pretty terrible. But the smile on my face was huge. (See attached). My face was aching. An old boy tried to race me on his single speed whilst laughing his head off, Ukrainian girls pointed, smiled, laughed, shouted, men discussed the benefits of traveling by bike. It was emotional waterfall!! Love it!!!!

Then I got to LViv and as I was taking a picture of boxes of chicks being sold I caught the eye of a guy who said he knew the hostel for me. He did. It is awesome!!!

I arrived and was whisked off by a huge group for dinner and drinks. I was greeted at the door by a man with a sub-automatic machine gun. My legs went weak, I'm not afraid to say I almost wet myself with fear, my throat tightened, I couldn't speak. He was thrusting something at me but i couldn't see what - my eyes were trained on the barrel of his gun. He was shouting. I couldn't understand a word. His friends were laughing. I wasn't. Again he thrust his hand towards me. I glanced down - it was a shot of vodka. I had to drink it before they let me in!! 

Then half way through our meal, in a restaurant only known to Ukrainians, the lights flickered and went out. the power had gone. The girl beside me laughed and said 'now we kill a russian'. Not very PC but I guess relations aren't too sweet. More shouting as soldiers arrive, looking for a russian. Can you believe it. They grab someone and all you hear is two gun shots. The ukrainians go mental, downing vodka, cheering, laughing. I was still sat there with my mouth open, a little bit of dumpling hanging out onto my beard for later. (Like the Twits I have started saving food in my ginger face fur).

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