Bent invasion (ohh naughty)

Back at school

(As ever click for whole load of new pics)
After a week away it was back to the school. Within the hour I’d milked the cow, sung and danced tribal songs, learnt to play the drum, been invited on another schools camp and generally tired myself out again. This continued for a while longer until it was time for a holiday again. This time with the folks and my little sis.

As you can imagine there were lots of hugs and smiles, but plenty more besides.

Within 30 minutes we found ourselves on a perfect beach being welcomed by dolphins, and as the days progressed saw wildlife galore on a safari, stayed in a treehouse 40ft above the ground, were welcomed to a wedding, another engagement party and a Festival at an ashram. Helping at school, visiting the tribal village Chembakoli M&D&Nat will sleep for the next month.

Either my luck is hereditary or the closeness of family meant it rubbed off on their arrival. Every step taken led us somewhere new and wonderful, surrounded by people who radiate love and affection. This luck was only emphasised by the unfortunateness of some of those you see along the way.

Beggars, victims of severe disabilities or injuries. We had to drive round a guy lying on the road looking like a child pretending to be a dead cockroach on his back with his arms and legs rigid above his torso – only difference being that this man was dead and allowed to lie on the street with no help at all (another victim of the Indian roads - highlighting how dangerous my cycling through India was – no one stops when they hit people as the villagers are known to come out and savage the car and occupants if the victim is one of their own).

Then you see those making the most of what they’ve been given – disabled and blind, a band came to the ashram and sang and played music that made your emotions rise and fall like a ship riding a storm ridden ocean.

Nat is back at school but Mum and Dad decided to stay at the Ashram – I wondering whether they'll ever leave India?!

Super Cool

Verkala

(CLICK PIC FOR MORE....)
Taking the few lessons at the school and having to make a decision whether to sign up for dinner the night before was starting to get too stressful for me so I packed a small day pack and headed for the coast and some spiritualisation and cuddles with Amma – the ‘Mother Hugger’.

I mentioned I’d been doing some stick martial arts on the beach. It’s quite beautiful and graceful – like dance – but you do get a few more bruises and fat lips!!

It started with 2 of us (Lucy – awesome, me – bruised) then numbers started to swell.

One particular night Natalia (Ukraine beauty) and Rafi (India beauty) came and said they’d join us after laughing therapy. What? Laughing therapy. I couldn’t miss this. So 5 minutes later I was with some equally bonkers folk on the beach and we laughed for five or ten minutes (I think it was the first class I’ve excelled at???). Rafi and Nat are bundles of energy that seem to light up anyone they come across. I then returned to stick feeling thoroughly invigorated. Even now I am laughing – it works!!

The next day it was suggested that we meet at 4 and give sweets out on the beach – spreading love and happiness. I’d just bought a orgasmatron (head massager thing) so brought that along too. So we traversed the beach bringing smiles to peoples faces and sweetness to their bellies – whilst promoting laughing therapy later in the afternoon.

That night I’d been asked to lead a class in Animal balloon making (the second class I have excelled at). Monkeys, elephants, guitars, flowers, it was beautiful!! About 15 people came including Rafi and Natalie – such a compliment.

The next day I was off to see Amma. A spiritual leader all over the world – she gives her energy in the form of a hug – I had to check it out.

Entirely sceptical, Kathleen (Geordie originally from Hong Kong) and I stepped into her Ashram. Temple like thingy watsit. Lots of westerners and a few Indians were there. All dressed in white, looking like their farts don’t stink, and looking down upon those who arrive with animal balloons all over their new bamboo stick dressed in every colour under the rainbow with feral ginger beards. (Yes Kathleen has one too)

In a strange way it looked serene and we whipped out our paperatsi cameras to capture the moment.

“Please put your cameras down and delete your pictures or you’ll have bad Karma.”

Some hard noised women (let’s call her ‘Bitch Face from Hell’ or ‘BFFH I’) in white was clearly not impressed with us.

“Forget about it” I told Kathleen. We knew it was going to be a bit like a circus and had kept telling each other that we were there only to experience one second – the hug.

We entered the hall where she performs her Dasham to be greeted by wonderful live music and gorgeous food to fill our bellies after our long journey, and then joined the huge queue. We were allowed to queue with the Indians as we were just paying a day visit and not planning to stay. Something which had turned up the noses of those in white further.

In the queue I whipped out the Orgasmatron and proceeded to spread some Danesh (my new Indian name) love. Even those who aren’t being touched smile and laugh watching. But no. ‘Not allowed – you are obstructing my view of Amma” – we’ve pissed off ‘BFFH II’. Amma’s a spot in the distance at this point but after 2 hours we were getting close and I was getting excited – hence louder. Add to this the fact that I’d made Amma a bouquet of flowers out of balloons and once again I was being told off by BFFH III, IV, and V. These guys are so at peace!!??

All the BFFH’s (I, II, III, IV and V – plus a lot more) are fighting each other to be part of the entourage that sit behind Amma – struggling to get a spot within about 5 metres of her and then digging in with tooth and nail not to be pushed aside by another BFFH whilst slowly pushing knees and elbows into other peoples backs to get that inch closer as the 1000’s of people came to have their hug. I was wondering why we were there whilst we passed in front of these people – all this for a second – 2 seconds if she takes a liking to you.

Finally it’s my turn and I get onto my knees as everyone else does and then handed the flowers to her beaming face (later Kathleen heard that she’d asked for them to be taken to her room - awesome). She put her arms around me and I have to say – it felt wonderful (but I do love hugs). She sang soft Mantra into my ear. Surely my time was up but she was still holding me in her arms. I started to feel awkward as eyes bore into my head but it was too nice to let go. Then someone I’d been chatting to told her that I’d cycled from England and she let go. I stood to leave but was forced back to my knees by hands behind me. She touched my head, then fed me chocolate, putting it into my mouth as if I was a Greek God. She then summoned everyone around to give me a a cheer and a clap. Wow wow wow!!

Finally I was allowed to get up and I self consciously made my way back as Amma spoke to one of her colleagues who then came up to me and told me Amma wanted me to sit next to her. So people (BFFHs) were pointed at and told to move to allow me through and next to Amma to share our energies.

Bad Karma my ass!!

Stop Thief

People warn of the potential for thievery in India. Slum dog millionaire reiterates the risks faced. I think, ”What a load of rubbish”. I don’t lock my room at night or when I go out, I have left my bag open with all valuables visible outside my room in busy cheap hotels by accident, my wallet fell from my bag and about 5 cars stopped to tell me, cleaners come into my room with 1000’s of rupees (months of salary) lying on the bed amongst the mess, wallet, passport also, and they just stack them all nicely and I’m sure the idea to take it doesn’t even enter their heads.

I got it into my head that everyone was honest and decent.

So I was devastated to be blatantly robbed whilst on the beach. I left my bag open on the beach with my wallet in, SLR camera, video camera, $200, 10,000 rupees. I was planning to do some stick martial arts so left my bamboo rod next to it.

I was only away from it for maybe 1 minute. I was just having a look at the fishermen and when I got back it was gone.

I searched everywhere, asked anyone nearby if they’d seen the scoundrel who’d taken it. I could see its imprint in the sand so hadn’t somehow got disoriented. After hours of fruitless searching I had to face facts – my stick was gone forever. (Everything else was still there)

Chembakolli

Chembakolli

(Click on the pic to view the album)

So there is a village that inspired my trip, where the children come to the Vidyadaya school. Westerners aren't allowed in the tribal area.

1 month ago a tourist ventured close by and was killed by an elephant so security is high and it's no no no to any questions about the village. Shame.

So when i'm told we're going I'm totally dumb founded, apprehensive and excited!!! The village leaders and elders and spiritualists got together and decided in one day of talking I could visit, the next they said i could have a 'sleep over'!!

And they want me to cycle in......

So it's on to Shirley (the wife) I get again and head off into the jungle. Villages get simpler, then simpler still and then we are in the jungle and my guides on motor bikes have to leave their machines and follow by foot.

After a few minutes the undergrowth parts and opens to a small clearing where there are 2 buildings. A nursery and a temple. Both made of mud with straw roofs. In the distance I can hear children and make out houses dotted into the hillside. women carry water from the stream up to the houses - some of which are miles away. If you have seen Avatar then it has many similarities.

Visiting the families I was welcomed with tea (as usual) and smiles. Some kept their distance form the 'strange one' others were transfixed. I saw some children with scabies but the hospital funded by Accord - the partner of Action Aid in India - has given the medicines needed to cure it.

Night was drawing in so we made our way up the hillside climbing roots and avoiding vines and palms. At the top the chiefs house is the same as all the others. Simple, clean and friendly.

We light a fire immediately to keep the wild animals away and after chatting for hours by fire light (there is no electricity) I am brought a gourmet meal cooked over a fire in the kitchen.

Lying down on the mud veranda the head teacher and I settle in for the night and its surprisingly cool after the heat of the day. The cool of the wild lulls me to sleep as birds and beast make their nest or begin to hunt by night.

I am woken in the pitch dark by the chieftain who says - listen - I can hear a calling. He says 'Tiger'. Oh my goodness their is a tiger close by. He says it is some way off though.... thank goodness. The only protection I have is my sleeping bag and I've even forgotten my mosquito repellent - not much use against the king of the jungle. I lye and listen a bit longer but the tranquility has me at its mercy and I'm asleep before I know it.

A few hours later and I jump out of my sleeping bag - the dog is going crazy - I switch on my torch and see a Leopard disappear into the jungle.

A leopard has become attached to the chiefs cow - I like to think 2 creatures from seperate worlds have fallen in love but the reality is probably a little more gruesome. The leopard unlike the India human population wants beef on the menu.

This wildest of creatures was one pounce from having Mr Bent ala carte.

Again I slip off to sleep lying on the hard floor with wild ideas in my head.

When I wake in the morning I am surrounded by children and a godzillion balloon animals and flowers later they are all happy and I'm allowed to go for a tour.

We walk down the steap hillside stopping in at many of the 150 houses the constitute the village. Lots of tea and smiles again.

Then by another simple temple we meet another chief who has his bow and arrow on him. We practice shooting my shoes (they are off my feet at this point). After a while a youth takes the bow and wants to show what he can do - he fires one shot and a bird falls from the canopy way above us. The young children scamper off to retrieve but the tiny bird and the arrow.

I felt a bit guilty - did a bird have to die just coz I'm here, "What will you do with it?" I ask.

"Eat it" they respond as if I'm an idiot. A fire is rustled up and the bird after being plucked i\and gutted is just thrown on. it's barely larger than a wren but we all take a piece. I had both breasts (about the size of a penny) as guest.

The second bird to fall I plucked and then when it was cooked I didn't want the most succulent breast - so they said take the head. I was told to remove the beak and gouge out the eyes. After doing so, very proficiently I have to say, I was left with this skull. What do i do with it?? Eat it. What the whole thing.

Man, they're thinking, this white guy has no idea - of course all of it!!

I pop it in like a boiled sweet and bite down. The brain oozes into my mouth and tastes like cream cheese. Yummy.

Before I know it it's time to leave - they invited me to stay for a week in the future - I'm keen!! very keen.

On the way back to the school we had to avoid the elephants again. This time I'm on foot coz the head teacher has taken my bike (after lowering the seat a lot) and is flying around like a kid at a fairground!! His eyes are wide and his smile is bigger than ever. He comes back to me and says, 'This is soooooo coooolll!!!'

So I'm back and teaching at the school - I have to force the children out the door of each lesson. It's wonderful, they're wonderful, you're wonderful, life's wonderful.

Again 'luckiest man alive' doesn't come close to me. And add to that Mum and Dad are coming out soon..... so lucky!!

The last push...

The End

My last day of my old life. The chrysalis is starting to tear and I’m vulnerable to the elements and predators as I spread my wings for the first time.

This day is surely my most dangerous – Taliban, wild dogs, stone throwing kids, crazy truck drivers, pan fueled nut jobs – they pale into insignificance as I enter the wildlife park on my bike. Containing the highest number of Asiatic elephants rampaging through the jungle destroying everything in their paths and containing the largest number of Tigers of any other park.

As I’m coming down a hill I halt suddenly as elephants are spotted. What to do – wait and be easy prey for the tigers or risk being crushed to death beneath tonnes of elephant. I decide to go for it – a motorcyclist says “go past on the right and go fast!!”

I’m here and hence safe but man I think that 1hr was risking it a bit too much!!

As I continue I am joined by cyclist and motorcyclists, our number is increasing as is the number of flower wreaths round my neck – it’s starting to get heavy. With 1km to go I see in the distance a huge crowd gathered. Adults children men and women all dressed so colourfully and bearing banners. As I get closer I see they are wishing someone a happy birthday and congratulations. A little closer and I can make out my logo ‘Velo Love’ in the hands of every child. They’re here for me and the tears begin to flow.

Cheers, claps, drums rolls, singing, dancing – it’s a carnival as I walk my bike towards the school with a 6 yr old on the seat and hundreds of people from the village and the school following behind.

Singing and speeches follow, tears follow that. Not just from me but from the teachers, the pupils, the media crowd that have gathered. I think something very special happened today in this little Adivasi village. Wow – I cut a cake, again bearing the ‘love’ logo and now I’ve lost it. My head in my hands as they sing happy birthday in English with their beautiful accents and then sing again in Tamil.

For the second time in India my life has changed forever.

Last evening.....

The final push

So I have one evening of my trip left, what better way to enjoy it than learning to roll Beadies (the leaf cigarette – no smoking though), making incense sticks, testing every oil until I smell like a flower shop and then ripping up Mysore behind the wheel of an Auto Rickshaw – with the driver taking a backseat shouting to his friends as we cruise past like the rude boys on Southend Seafront.

My life is up in the air and I have no idea how it’s going to land. I bump into a Spanish spiritual lady who I connected with within 10 seconds of small talk. Embarrassed about our embrace with so few words spoken we went our separate ways only to bump into each other later and start chatting deeply. She reassured me that I was on the right lines and without knowing my issues at all said she felt clarity was coming my way in the next week. In love I had to be patient. Sweet.

A few hours before I was due to leave, lying listening to music, each word connecting with my every thought, she asked if I was spiritual. It was one of those questions she already knew the answer to.

“Nah,” I replied, “I’m not into that kinda stuff”.

“The kinda stuff we’ve been talking about passionately for the past 8 hours” she replied smiling.

“Oh?”

I’m Danger Dan – nerdy, clumsy, loud, ungraceful, stupid. My farts stink. Spiritual? Come on, get real – I like bikes. No?

Few more pics from the slum - Mumbai

Slum II